30 Before 30 Revisited (Part 1)

Posted on June 23, 2011 by Bethany

Last fall I made my “30 before 30” list- 30 things I wanted to accomplish before my 30th birthday (March 1, 2012).  Now, with just over eight months left (luckily having a baby wasn’t on my list) I thought it would be a good time to revisit my goals.  Over the next week or so I’ll be chronicling my progress. Unfortunately my list was housed on my old blog, which got entirely deleted.  So I’ve recreated the list, but can’t remember all of them.  Which means I’ll get to create a few new goals. 

1)      Fade out the red- I set this goal because I used to have red everything- right down to my red satin sheets (tacky, I know).  A lot of the red things had bad memories attached to them so I resolved to adopt a new color scheme as a way of symbolizing a new life.  I’ve gotten rid of or given away most of my red stuff.  But I still have red towels and red luggage and a red laptop bag.  And I decided I don’t need to get rid of them.  They’re nice and expensive and I don’t need new luggage to know I’m headed in a different direction…

2)      Tell my pastor (Pete Wilson) how much his messages and book “Plan B” meant to me in a really difficult time-  I don’t know what my problem is but for some reason I can’t go up to my pastor and tell him this.  It has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me.  There’s just way too many cool people who go to my church and I decide he’s got more important people to talk to.  This is just insecurity and I’ve gotta get past that. God used him and he needs to know that.

3)      Go to as many festivals as possible-  I LOVE me some outdoor festivals!   The only thing I might like more than festivals is old cemeteries.  When I was in Atlanta back in October and there was a festival INSIDE their oldest cemetery I could hardly contain myself.  Last weekend was one of my favorites, the RC Cola & Moon Pie Festival in Bell Buckle, TN.  I didn’t go though, as neither RC Cola nor Moon Pies are appropriate for my diet right now.  Despite that, I consider this goal accomplished.

4)      Get my passport-  “Epic fail” as the kids say.  I will get one though in the coming months.  I have an out of the country trip booked for November 2012 so it’s a necessity at this point.

5)      Get Zoom! Whitening done-  I actually did this back in March; My 29th birthday present to myself.  There was a Groupon for it and I went ahead and bit the bullet.  And I was largely disappointed.  The day I got them done, yes, they were whiter to the point that people who didn’t know what I had done noticed.  But it seemed like my teeth got stained again so fast (I don’t smoke or drink coffee so I’m not sure why).  Plus the dentist who performed it was horrible, and burnt my tongue with the laser.  Know how much the co-pay for special prescription ointment for laser-burnt tongues is?  $40.  Per tiny tube.  Turns out that Groupon wasn’t as cheap as I thought. 

To be continued…

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Father’s Day- AKA Another Day I Realize Just How Self-Involved I Can Be

Posted on June 19, 2011 by Bethany

Yesterday was a rough day for me.  I literally spent all day in bed having a pity party for myself (it was an extremely dreary day so that’s not quite as pathetic as it sounds).  Then at 5:00 pm I finally headed out to go to a baby shower BBQ for my college suitemate.  Not just any baby shower though.  This was a coed/family-friendly baby shower.  Which meant all the girls from college brought their husbands and kids.  It wasn’t enough that I was the only single girl at the baby shower, I was also the only childless one.  The laughter of the kids blowing bubbles in the yard kept reminding me lest I forget.  I tried to be unselfish.  I smiled big as my friends discussed what kind of bottles they use and how many months apart their children are and what height/weight percentile the pediatrician said their youngest one is (I’m not being bitter- these were actual conversations and yes, it was just as boring as it sounds). I kept telling myself over and over “This is Tara’s day, this is Tara’s day…”  But really I felt like screaming at everyone “Can’t you see how this makes me feel???  What do you all have that I don’t?!?!? (besides husbands, babies and money)”  I was positive that my lone ovary was glowing neon from underneath my dress and that my ringless left hand was emitting some kind of alarm to warn others about my loser status.  Surely all these ladies had more than a little unspoken pity for me, right??

This morning I woke up and couldn’t wait to call my dad to wish him a happy Father’s Day.  I always love finding an excuse to phone my dad, but today I had a legitimate reason.  In fact, I called him right from bed the second I woke up, before I even got up to pee.  I had found the perfect gift for him awhile back and mailed it out over a month ago and knew he would tell me how much he liked it.  My father is one of the most content, positive men ever and I knew he’d sound upbeat and make his weekend sound great even if it was nothing particularly special.  My dad would be happy if all he had was his grill and my mom.  And probably his iPhone.

After I got off the phone with my dad I got up and went to the kitchen where one of my roommates was cooking.  In a house of five girl it seems like there’s always somebody in the kitchen cooking. I started gushing about it being Fathers’ Day and she groaned and said “Uggghhhhhh… I do NOT want to call my father today.  I just can’t deal with it.” She then proceeded to complain about her father and everything that was wrong with him.  I felt bad, because I forgot that not everyone has an Earthly father who loves them, who encourages them, who speaks truth into their life.   Then I thought about my friend back home whose had a great father but he died the summer between junior and senior year of high school- right before Father’s Day. It dawned on me how hard a day like today must be if you don’t have a good relationship with you father or if he’s passed away. Hard to be reminded of what you don’t have.  Just like it’s hard for a single, childless woman at a coed baby shower.

I love my dad so much and celebrate him today, along with all the other great, wise, Godly fathers out there.  But I’ve also learned to pray for those today who don’t have great Earthly fathers- I hope they know how much their heavenly Father loves them.

 

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For Japan With Love

Posted on March 18, 2011 by Bethany

 

 

I’ve never been to Japan, have had some pretty brutal encounters with Japanese food and one of the most random experiences of my life was the one semester of “Conversational Japanese” I took as a high school sophomore.  Despite having little connection with Japan, I have been going back and forth between gut-wrenched and heartbroken the past week over the earthquake/tsunami images that have been all over the media.  I don’t understand it, nor can my human little mind try to make sense of God’s plan in the midst of this.

I just re-started my blog yesterday and probably wouldn’t have posted anything tomorrow anyway, but I’m going to participate in the Blogger’s Day of Silence tomorrow, March 18 as part of For Japan With Love‘s partnership with Shelter Box USA to bring much-needed, life-saving supplies to Japan.  They are an awesome non-profit that has already delivered boxes to Japan since Tuesday and will be sending many more.  Just go to http://www.forjapanwithlove.com and click on the top right to donate.  Or you can text “Shelter” to 20222 to make a one-time $10 donation.  Even if you can’t donate, please continue to pray for the people of Japan and all the relief workers who have been called there in the midst of this disaster.

UPDATE!!!! Forever 21 is donating 100% of their online sales, today, March 18, to Japan Relief as well.  Go to www.forever21.com and get your shop on!!

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Failure is No Longer an Option

Posted on March 16, 2011 by Bethany

A few months ago I thought I was done blogging for good.  My blog got taken down due to a lapse in web hosting services, and though I was disappointed, I was also majorly relieved.  I had been exceedingly honest and vulnerable in my posts, and while this lead to some great, positive feedback, it also gave way to a select few negative responses. I’m not a pessimist by any means, but I am susceptible to symptoms of the human condition. Especially ones that involve self-doubt. Instead of listening to what God says, or focusing on the 98% positive reaction I got, the 2% of negativity would be all I remembered.  The few mean words would be what would replay in my head whenever I would try to write another post.  So when my blog went down, I felt like I was off the hook for a bit. I wouldn’t have to expose myself and deal with others’ criticism or my own doubts for awhile.  I could take a break from writing/feeling/defending.  I wouldn’t fail anymore because I wasn’t going to try.

It didn’t take that long for me to come to my senses and realize how ridiculous I was being.  Not trying/not writing was a much bigger failure than outright messing up.  Shortly after the new year I went to put my blog back up, only to find all the content was deleted.  Gone forever.  To say I was devastated would be an understatement.  I mourned for the loss of those words- the ones I had thought weren’t any good until they were gone- like they were a relative.  I had put my blood, sweat and tears (ok, maybe not blood and sweat but definitely tears) into those posts.  I decided that this time, I really was never blogging again.

Until last night.  I went to Kairos at Brentwood Baptist.  My favorite blogger/author Jon Acuff was going to be the guest speaker, so I decided to make the trip down to BBC.  If you’re at all familiar with Jon or his blog Stuff Christians Like, you’ll know that he is absolutely hilarious.  I expected to laugh my butt off, and I did.  But  more than laughing, I got hit hard with an extra strength double shot of conviction and encouragement.  Jon spoke on chasing your dreams,  a topic that could not be more timely for what is going on in my life right now.  He reminded me that there are consequences for NOT following your God-ordained dreams.  He spoke about how God is so much bigger than our dreams and ideas (especially our ideas about Him).  And he told the truth about patience (“Whatever you pray for, do NOT ask God for patience or humility- cuz He will HOOK YOU UP!”).

My favorite idea of the night was how we tend to equate slowness with failure.  I am guiltier of that than anyone.  Most of my dreams in life have yet to be fulfilled, and so I label myself as a failure, especially when I compare myself to others.  In fact, one of my biggest internal struggles is between the part of me that labels myself as a “failure” and “disappointment” and the other part of me that fights those self-definitions with what I know Scripture says and God thinks.

Re-starting this blog is just a little piece of reversing my negative (and untrue) thoughts and making both big and small steps in faith. Because failure is no longer an option.

Ephesians 3:20 (NLT) “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”


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